P Posted by Sandra on November 10 2012 0 Comments McFLY, News

The girls from the Smart Ladies blog did a huge review of Unsaid Things that you can read below.

*This is SLLS first ever guest-blog we figured we would all be too ummm preoccupied (not at all hungover or too drunk to write) to do a post so we had Brooke (goddess of all boyband knowledge and office FedExpert) review the McFly autobiography which she had already bought and read, how fortuitous for us all!

Unlike the lovely Smart Ladies, I’m normally a bit behind when it comes to most aspects of pop culture except when it comes to music that 13-year-old girls listen to. I’ve been a bit of boyband connoisseur since I fell for Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys–the one with the eyebrows–in 1998. His speaking part at the beginning of this song did my teenage hormones in. It’s now fifteen years later and boybands still take up a massive portion of my music collection (now it all sits in my iTunes and on YouTube, where it used to be collected in CD’s and stacks of TV appearances recorded onto VHS).

Like the rest of my teenage boyband loving peers of modern times, I have been enjoying a bit of the recent resurgence including a band called McFly. Their boyband status is arguable since they play all their own instruments, write their own music, don’t dance, and didn’t start wearing matching outfits until last month. Their pop melodies and promises to forever love the adolescent listening on the other side of her iPod keep them as happily planted in boybandland, though. Here’s a quick run-down of the members.

Tom Fletcher: Sings. Plays guitar and pink ukulele. Of Sleepy Cat song fame.
Danny Jones: Sings. Plays guitar. Charming ladies man. Goofy airhead.
Dougie Poynter: Backup vocals. Plays bass. Blond heartthrob. Socially-awkward.
Harry Judd: Plays drums. Lover of Dougie Poynter. Muscley pretty one.


After being together nearly ten years, McFly decided that the time was right to release an autobiography (along with some new music and their second greatest hits album) that told all of the stories they were never allowed to reveal before. I still can’t believe that some of these stories never made it out, considering how easy it is to stalk people on the Internet thanks to technologically savvy teenage fangirls.
The book is appropriately titled Unsaid Things (and shares its name with a song off their first album [Harry’s now fiancé was one of those violin players]). Like any good popstar autobiography, their book is full of humble beginnings; first time dabbles in drug use; groupies; MILF’s; depression and suicide; traveling the world in luxury; heartache; suicide; and a visit to rehab. What McFly offers that no other boyband does (openly at least), though, is a story of a one night stand with an America’s very own Mean Girl.

To announce the release of the book, McFly created this video. Danny slyly mentions that 50 Shades of Grey lovers would also really enjoy their book. This comment made me wonder if Unsaid Things would just be a collection of all of the fanfiction written about them over the years. Little did I know, the prologue of the book would be a description of one member’s own 50 Shades experience when he receives an ending only a proper rockstar can from an Indonesian masseuse after being convinced to by the other three who wanted no part in such offers.

The first few chapters describe each member’s childhood and the birth of McFly. Here are some of the McFly childhood highlights.

Tom attended a prestigious theater school where he learned all about being a professional performer (the same school that Amy Winehouse, one of the Saturdays, and my cougar crush Nathan Sykes of The Wanted attended). He became so professional that during a performance of Oliver! on the West End he wet his pants during the first act while on stage in front of 2,000 people.

Danny grew up obsessing over guitars and Bruce Springsteen. His story is rounded out by a dad who grew angry at the world and visited the pub every night. (Most English don’t think a whole lot of this kind of action, but my Bible Belt roots lead me to label this as alcoholism. My Riesling habit leads me to label it as several bad days in a row.)

Dougie was able to earn himself a little cash by breeding bearded dragons and selling them at reptile fairs. While this is something that I completely am not surprised that Dougie Poynter would do as an adolescent, I didn’t even realize that breeding lizards could be done in some kid’s bedroom and I still can’t figure out what the hell a reptile fair is.

Harry was the posh one that attended boarding school and played cricket and the trumpet. He tells stories of being rejected by his peers and teammates after he became too cocky. No one that plays the trumpet should be cocky. (Sorry.)

The book then moves into the formation of the band, which is something that I have been curious about since discovering them. Tom made it into the boyband Busted and was then kicked out after 48 hours. Despite being booted, Tom became good friends with frontman James Bourne. The Busted managers took Tom to film auditions for the band V, where he met Danny. It deserves to be mentioned the panel made Tom teach Danny how to play something more pop than Paul Weller at the audition.

Tom obviously knows no one is more pop than my Backstreet boyfriends so Danny went back in with a rousing version of “I Want It That Way” and also performed original choreography to “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)“. (Danny has since taught the rest of McFly the choreography.) [On boring Fridays I often go in to Brooke’s office while she forces me to watch these videos, surprisingly it makes the time fly. -K] Reading this proved to me that everything in my life is full circle and also sealed Danny Jones as my favorite McFly boy forever.

Harry and Dougie were eventually added after several rounds of auditions where they were consistently second best instrumentally but always on top when it came to looking the part. If that doesn’t have boyband written all over it, I don’t know what does (apart from matching all white outfits).

Once their group is complete, they move into a gated London community known as Princess Park Manor and it is an immediate lovefest between four new best friends. (McFly, The Wanted, Busted, Girls Aloud, One Direction, and JLS have all at one point lived here, the site of a former asylum.) Three of the four boys quickly bond over their nightly weed sessions their plans to hide it from Tom. Dougie is the youngest member, and was only fifteen when he joined the others at Princess Park. Because his father had recently left his family, he credits the other three with helping him transform into a man during this period. Harry taught him how to shave, Danny fixed his hair for him, and Tom even helped him open his first bank account. I find it ironic reading about Dougie “turning into a man” considering today he wears women’s jeans so tight that only pre-pubescent girls and Posh Spice could fit into them.

Unsaid Things progresses through McFly’s discography and what influenced the sound and delivery of each album. I’m always curious as to what influenced the writer of some of my favorite songs. I always wonder “is this person really this desperate to date a girl with giant knockers or did they just finish watching an episode of Jerry Springer?” Lucky for me, the book gives plenty insight to the background of some of my favorite McFly tunes. No one else but Tom Fletcher, self-admitted space geek, would have a dream about falling in love with an alien and then write the brilliant song “Star Girl“. (McFly’s obsessive Twitter followers actually got NASA to play this song in space.)

Don’t worry; the proper rock star lifestyle they indulged in was not left out of the book. The four of them reminisce through some of their more successful hook-ups and embarrassing attempts. Harry details his first experience with a cougar. The boys badger Danny about making his way through the Miss World Pageant. Danny, Dougie, and Harry tell of several rejections from Girls Aloud.
Danny and Dougie discuss the night that Danny took take a gorgeous blonde back to his hotel room while Dougie was left to deal with her mother and her Bon Jovi tattoo (normally hidden under her bra). Dougie was lucky enough to eventually snag Saturday Frankie Sandford. A couple that swoop bangs together apparently doesn’t stay together, though. Tom doesn’t give any juicy hook-up details because he was able to pick up his now wife, Giovanna, as a 13-year-old with this classic line:

Giovanna: “Hi. My name is Giovanna, but you can call me G.”
Tom: “Hi. My name is Tom, but you can call me T.”

One story that McFly has never come clean on, until now, is the member of the band that got to see Lindsay Lohan in all her glory on the set of their movie Just My Luck. [Let’s all feel bad for Chris Pine that he was the male lead in this movie. -K] The first day on set, Danny says that Lindsay came over and gave him her number and invited the band to dinner.
Harry then proceeds to tell a hilariously cringeful story of LiLo’s attempt to get in his pants. One of her younger brothers picks the band up in a hummer (this is where I admit that I didn’t even know she was related to anyone but her cray cray parents). After dinner, LiLo invited her “mum” to go out with her and the McFly boys. In true Dina Lohan fashion, she agreed to go even though one of the youngest siblings was wailing away about the lack of parental attention. After couple of lap dances later in the evening, things begin to get steamy in a posh New Orleans bathroom between LiLo and Harry. By this point, Danny has managed to use his charming ways to court a friend of LiLo’s. The four of them go back to the hotel while Tom and Dougie laid in street and talked about constellations.
Harry continued to win his conquest over with lines like “This is just like Notting Hill, isn’t it?” (Harry claims she loved it. I’m guessing it was the vodka that loved it.) Just as Harry was to seal the deal, Danny intrusively walks back in on his bandmate says “Oh, sorry mate!” While Harry was still ready to round home plate after the interruption, Lindsay sobers up, put on an eye mask, and rolled over to go to sleep. Harry got the last laugh when McFly namechecked Lindsay in their song “Please, Please“, written about his big night out.

The book isn’t all catchy tunes and washed-up teen star hook-ups. Tom chronicles his ongoing bout with Bipolar disorder. Dougie discusses how he hid alcoholism, drug use, and a suicide attempt from the other three which eventually led to rehab. They all talk about how much they hate their last album which was recorded in Atlanta. (This is where they had dinner at Elton John’s house and found out generally every piece of artwork in his apartment is symbolically phallic. Obviously. What else would Elton John decorate his kitchen with?)

All four guys, individually and as a band, have finally come to great, yet calm places in their lives both personally and professionally. Giovanna married Tom back in the spring (which now makes Tom the brother-in-law to TOWIE floozy Mario) and has started writing songs for One Direction (against his best judgment) as well as McFly’s next album. Harry is set to marry the violinist later this month and was last year’s Strictly Come Dancing champion where he Foxtrotted his way into the hearts of Britain’s old folks. Dougie is sober and last year’s King of the Jungle on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here where he relished in eating live insects. Danny finally settled on one of his beauty queens, Miss England 2007, and is producing their next album.

I ended the book pretty impressed with how well they’ve all managed to get their lives together. Hopefully this doesn’t mean their next book will be about early bedtimes and the one time Tom forgot to take his fiber pill. That would be far less entertaining than Bon Jovi tattoos and alien love songs.

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